The series of talks covers the entire Song of Solomon.
The story so far:
- Part one
- Part two
- Part three
- Part four
- Part five
- Part six
Let’s look at part six today. Today Mark looks at chapter 6 of Song of Solomon, to see how couples should be reconciled after they sin against one another.
Here is the MP3 file for part 6 of 10.
Conflict resolution:
- The person who sins in the marriage has to pursue the spouse to be reconciled
- Husbands feel terrible when their wives reject them and leave them alone
- Face-to-face eye contact talking is the best way to get conflicts resolved
- Compliments are helpful for resolving difficulties
- Need to express the desire to work through these problems
Sinning against your spouse:
- Marriage doesn’t mean that spouses aren’t going to sin against one another
- All sin requires that someone be punished
- Either that someone is going to be Jesus, or the guilty spouse
- If the innocent spouse doesn’t accept that Jesus forgives that sin of the guilty spouse, then he will make the guilty spouse pay for the sin somehow
- if the spouses keep trying to punish each other for past sins, then the marriage is doomed
- Jesus atones for all sins, so forgiveness from him is claimed, the cycle of revenge must stop
- What should the guilty person do when they sin?
1) they should repent, admit that what they did was wrong - What should the innocent person do when the guilty person repents?
1) they should accept the repentance as full payment - What is repentance?
1) You need to feel convicted of having done something wrong
2) You need to confess to the person you wronged and other trustworthy people, that you did wrong
3) You have to make a good faith effort not to do it again, and to be accountable
4) You have to make restitution – restore people who you sinned against back to where they were - Bitterness is the refusal to forgive
- Forgiveness is not based on what the other person does, it’s Jesus who has to pay the debt
- You have to repent for your own sin, not repent everyone else’s sin for them
- Although you may be justified in having a claim on the bad person, you have to let it go
- Jesus forgave even his enemies
- If we expect to be forgiven for our sins, then we should forgive our spouse
- What forgiveness is not:
1) it’s not approving, e.g.
2) it’s not excusing, e.g. – it’s not genetic
3) it’s not denying sin
4) it’s not ignoring sin
5) it’s not forgetting that sin happened (just can’t USE IT in a fight)
6) it’s not diminishing sin
7) it’s not pretending - what is forgiveness?
1) loving in spite of what the person has done
2) don’t punish them
3) you can keep a record of sins to use in a fight
4) choosing to be merciful
5) it’s not necessarily a one time event
6) it’s doesn’t result in immediate reconciliation
7) it’s not a restoration of trust, that has to be rebuilt over time - Spouses should recognize their own sin, bitterness, repentance and forgiveness
- Forgiveness is not something that people deserve, it’s a gift from God that people give to each other when they are wronged
My thoughts
- I find it very easy to forgive people if they feel convicted and they confess honestly. After all, if they are their own worse judge, then there is no need for me to judge. It’s fun to be forgiving with people who are their own worst judge and who blame themselves completely in spite of mitigating circumstances.
- I think that doing the right thing just because the Bible says so can be difficult. He actually did come out and say that it is hard to repent unless your mind is changed (Rom 12:1-2), and that’s exactly what I am talking about. Only he emphasizes Bible, Bible, Bible, whereas I like to supplement with objective reality. Still he emphasizes the mind changing. It’s a start. I think people can do a better job by studying issues in order to confirm what the Bible says, so that it’s easier to
- For example, let’s say you have an abortion. Then you can go and study about it and then understand what harm results from it, so that you are convinced why you should not do it again
- I’m a little concerned by all this fighting talk. My parents fought a lot, but nothing as bad as what he is saying… yipes! This cheating on your spouse stuff is really bad
- One thing: do you readers think that a person has to repent before you can forgive them? I think that
The story of the woman caught in adultery
Also, did you guys know that the women stoned for adultery in John 7 is a very late addition and not Biblical?
Check out this story from Christianity Today.
Excerpt:
When Dallas Theological Seminary professor Daniel Wallace examined New Testament manuscripts stored in the National Archive in Albania last June, he was amazed by what he did not find.
The story of the woman caught in adultery, usually found in John 7:53-8:11, was missing from three of the texts, and was out of place in a fourth, tacked on to the end of John’s Gospel.
“This is way out of proportion for manuscripts from the 9th century and following,” Wallace said. “Once we get into that era, the manuscripts start conforming much more to each other. Thus, to find some that didn’t have the story is remarkable.”
It’s a very late addition (5th century), and not authentic to John. I think a lot of people like that story because they really really don’t want to be held accountable or judged. I love being held accountable and judged. I never ever fight it, and never get mad at the judge. I just look at the judgment on the merits and decide if it’s true. It doesn’t matter how it makes me feel, it doesn’t matter if the person is shouting, it doesn’t matter if the judge is bad himself. Just listen to the judgment and adjust. Case closed.
I think this verse is also cited by people who are anti-capital-punishment, so it’s also good for disproving that. I’m pro-capital-punishment, of course.
Filed under: Podcasts , Marriage, Sin, Love, Man, Woman, Male, Female, Repentance, Spouse, Forgiveness, Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church, John 7:53-8:11, Pericope, Bitterness

03/10/2010 • 2:00 PM 0
MUST-READ: What’s the difference between science and scientism?
Here’s an article by Edward Feser at Public Discourse. (H/T via ECM)
What is scientism?
What’s wrong with scientism?
What else is wrong with scientism?
Scientism can’t even ground our own experience of 1st-person consciousness.
Filed under: Commentary , Consciousness, Determinism, Dualism, Edward Feser, Free Will, Knowledge, Logic, Materialism, Philosophy, Rationality, Science, Scientism, Self Refutation, Self-Refuting, Truth