Wintery Knight

…integrating Christian faith and knowledge in the public square

How do prostitutes stay in business in an era of hook-up sex?

WARNING: This is one of those posts that feminists and egalitarians should just not read. Stay away from this post, it will offend you. Also, if you read it, then know that when I talk about “women”, it is a shorthand way of saying “women who accept the tenets of third-wave gender feminism”. I don’t mean all women, I mean third-wave gender feminists. If you are a married woman, or if you are a chaste single woman who is prepared to care for and support her future husband, then I don’t mean you.

From Stuart Schneiderman, a reversal of expectations.

The sexual revolution pushed by feminists encouraged women to abandon traditional female goals (marriage and children) and traditional men (provider, protector, moral and spiritual leader) and to instead prefer anonymous hook-up sex fueled by binge-drinking – so that they can pursue careers.

He writes:

Here’s a question for the behavioral economists: How do prostitutes stay in business?

With the sexual revolution and the hookup culture and young women making love like porn stars, how can a hooker make a living?

If you are charging money for something that people can get for free, eventually it will impact your business.

In the old days nice girls didn’t. Without specifying what nice girls wouldn’t do, men who wanted “it” sought out prostitutes.

Nowadays, there is precious little that nice girls don’t do. Thanks to a certain social movement nice girls are liberated. They will do just about anything, and will refuse to allow a man to pay for them.

Many of them won’t even want to see him in the morning.

Free love has come to mean giving it away for free. No one knows how prevalent the practice is, but nice girls are marrying later and are avoiding encumbering alliances. If we assume that they are sexually active during their twenties, then clearly they have crowded the market in non-committal sex.

Young women who are out making their way in the world today will avoid relationships, but they will happily engage in all kinds of sexual gymnastics… They do not want to be tied down, just yet. (At least not in the metaphorical sense.) No man’s man’s emotional demands will get in the way of their career advancement.

[...]The marketplace being what it is, prostitutes have now adapted. They continue to offer something that nice girls no longer offer, but it isn’t kinky sex. It is emotional attachment: love, romance and a maybe even a relationship, with a little sex on the side.

Nowadays it’s called the girlfriend experience. It’s the ultimate in sex work, considerably more difficult and better paid than common fellatio.

Strange as it seems, if you are a young man today you often have to pay a woman to act like she’s your girlfriend.

Even the term “escort” which is commonly taken to be a euphemism for prostitute, has traditionally referred to a woman who would accompany a man to a social or cultural event. She was a stand-in girlfriend.

In the old days prostitutes used to know how to do things that nice girls had never even heard of. Today, prostitutes know how to do things that nice girls do not know how to do: that is to conduct relationships.

Young women today are proficient at being sex kittens. Many of them become expert in the art of dating. Fewer know how to conduct a relationship with a man.

I grew up with a non-Christian mother who was very distant and focused on her career, wealth and health. So, I always expected a lot more from women in terms of affection, attention and approval. I knew perfectly well that what I wanted in a woman was someone to be involved with my education, career and hobbies, and most important of all, with my Christian faith. That is what I missed growing up as a visible minority in a predominantly white city. That’s probably one of several reasons why I am chaste. Sex is not the primary thing that I am looking for from a woman. Instead, I want to be the traditional man who is needed as a provider, protector and moral/spiritual leader, and who gets affection, attention and approval for fulfilling those roles (and only those roles).

There were a lot of times when I was growing up when it would have been easy for me, having hit six figures of net worth at age 26, to focus on getting sex in the quickest way possible. All I would have had to do was to stop being an open and authentic Christian. If I had stopped talking about objective morality and exclusive theological claims, and just made no demands on any women to grow into the roles of wife and mother, it would have been easy. But that would not scratch the itch that I have. I get a lot of joy from seeing a woman learn about my plan and my goals. I enjoy providing her with books, debates and lectures to learn about the things that I care about. I enjoy protecting her from lies and labor by building up her knowledge and character and performing acts of service for her. I enjoy leading her – through study and persuasion – to grow in her understanding of moral, theological and apologetic issues. And I enjoy when a woman makes an effort to be a supportive helper and a companion. Nothing is better than seeing a woman accept your goals as her own, preparing to achieve those goals and then achieving them. I would rather be a leader – that’s what men really want.

Women today use sex as a way of pacifying men who want them to grow into the roles of wife and mother. They want to focus on their careers, on playing the field and on having a good time. Marriage is something they fall back on much later, when they are in their 30s. In order to get marriage-minded men to pay attention to them during their 20s without having to commit, women offer men sex. Men take the sex, and they stop trying to perform the traditional male roles, especially the role of being the moral and spiritual leader. And it’s a very easy thing to see. Just take a typical woman and ask her to read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids“, or similar books. They won’t do it, because they have been taught by third-wave feminism to be selfish and to avoid caring about others in relationships. But you can have all the recreational sex with them that you want (especially after they get drunk, so that they don’t feel responsible) as long as you are good-looking and fun. They have been told that they must always be having a good time, and to not prepare to care for men or children. They think that they can live happily ever after by pursuing their own happiness at every moment.

Everyone complains that men are no longer interested in marriage, but the truth is that there are very few marriage-capable women left to marry. Most women today are just not ready for marriage, because they are often neither chaste nor supportive. Men and women have to be chaste, because it is a guarantee that you offer to your spouse that you can be faithful. So, marriage-minded men are being forced to choose between selfish, promiscuous feminists and prostitutes. That’s no choice at all. And that’s why men who start out with noble aims of life-long married love and self-sacrificial commitment quickly learn to settle for recreational sex from a series of temporary partners – and sometimes very temporary partners in the case of hook-ups on college campuses.  Marriage is just not there for us to achieve anymore, because most women haven’t made the right decisions that will allow them to be supportive and faithful to their husbands. They aren’t ready to step into the roles of wife and mother.

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39 Responses

  1. Will S. says:

    How do prostitutes stay in business in today’s sexual climate?

    Quite simply, because slutty young women don’t give away their charms to all men, but only a select portion of them; the rest of men go without – and so there’s still a market for prostitution, including ones that offer said ‘GFE’s…

    • Oh, that’s true. I hope I don’t get into too much trouble for this post. I just wanted to make the point that what men really want is to be respected as leaders. Sex solves nothing – it’s just a butterfly that men chase to no avail. What makes a man feel like a man is being respected as a leader. This exactly what young feminists refuse to provide.

      • MC says:

        You shouldn’t apologize for the post. This is pretty common knowledge to those who are informed, especially those readers of Dalrock. These are just the facts of the matter. And the previous commenter is right: gals don’t sleep with anyone, just those at the top of the chain.

        • Thanks, MC! I appreciate the vote of confidence.

        • Will S. says:

          As a Dalrock reader, you likely know, it’s called ‘hypergamy‘.

          • A female friend of mine explained what women are doing when they sleep around with men selected for their appearance, athletic ability, popularity, etc. What they think they are doing is improving their social rank within the group by sleeping with men who are “elite” by the standards of the culture. These are not men who are leaders, protectors or providers. They are not men who are chaste and faithful. They are not men with a record of making commitments. They are not men who have a plan for marriage and parenting. Her hope is that she will be able to work her way up to totem pole to a really good man. And by good man, she doesn’t mean a man who will make a good husband and father because of demonstrated capabilities. She means a man who will look impressive at a wedding. Looks are everything to women today. They are not evaluating men to fit any role – especially the role of being able to stick around and raise the children. Naturally, this method of sleeping your way up the totem pole doesn’t work. It just leaves them 30+ years old with no ability to commit or be faithful or care or have normal emotional responses to men. That’s when they settle for a Beta who they will always resent, until they divorce him and resume trying to marry the promiscuous actor/athlete/rock star whom they feel entitled to, based on all the good-looking men they had one-night stands with before. They will always be comparing the good provider/leader man they married to these men they had sex with and being very bitter and disdainful of their husband. This is what all that promiscuity does, and why the number of partners a woman has is related to the stability of the marriage she enters into. More partners = less stability.

          • Will S. says:

            Yep.

            It’s pretty stupid. But then few young women today get good advice from their mothers and aunts and close friends…

          • In my experience, the one woman I knew who was most prone to this problem grew up fatherless. I think that women do this to their own daughters by not choosing men well. It’s almost like women think that their choice of man should be based on feelings, rather than some sort of careful job interview, where the man has to show that he can be faithful, keep a commitment and provide for a family. Somehow, women think that if their feelings are ok with the match, then that will cause the man to be a good husband and father. They trust their intuitions, and resent having to do a careful evaluation. I knew one woman who told me that it is impossible to tell if a man will be a good husband and father – you just have to pick one you like and hope for the best. She also thought that the government should step in and take the place of the husband if the woman chose poorly, because “it’s not her fault”.

            Little girls need a lot of attention from their Dads – that’s where they learn the thing to do to get attention and also what love from a man really is.

  2. Celine Suchanek says:

    Hello I am not attacking you but this is for the slumbering church who needs to wake up.

    I think your article is true in some respects. I do not mean to preach but the church and I admit I have to repent about judging the world when I know I sin. The church is too busy blaming the unsaved for the world’s problems that they forget to look at their own sins. Preaching morals to the world will never save them nor preaching to unbelievers who have hook-up sex etc, feminists, or those who really do not follow Christ but think they do do, corporations, governments change anything. We the church are the gatekeepers of evil and morals not the government, media, corporations etc. Many Pastors need to feed the flock and quit entertaining us with witchcraft meaning New Age and other forms, false doctrine etc and the church needs to stop wanting Pastors like that. We cannot condemn the world because what did the church do when Hilter, Mao, Stalin were in power? Did the church do anything or were we silent? What was and is the church doing to stop Darwinism in ours schools, eugenics (abortions), and witchcraft and why is it still going on? How can we condemn the world when some of us Christians let our children read Harry Potter books thinking it is harmless and not seeing the danger of kids now fascinated by witchcraft . How can we condemn them when some of Christians went to see the Batman movie? We wonder how horrible the event which is true it was horrible. I ask you though church why is seeing the Batman film not horrible and why is it not ironic that violence happened at a violent film?

    • James says:

      Celine,
      Where do you find any evidence that children watching Harry Potter has gotten them involved in witchcraft ? I know many children who have read the books, and they haven’t the slightest interest in it.

      Similarly, where have you found that watching movies from the Batman reboot trilogy leads to violent youth ? Yes, I am quite aware of the infamous James Holmes, but he was already unhinged. As of now, who knows what caused him to fall into such a deranged state ?

      I think movies with gratuitous violence and gore, however, are quite a bit different in the way they influence people. I think those go quite a long way in desensitizing people to things which ought to cause a reaction of shock and revulsion rather than approval. I also don’t find it too surprising that the more women are objectified in TV, movies, and magazines, the more people are going to become focused on sex as their primary means of satisfaction in combination with having more and more corrupted thoughts by just looking at another woman. I know I definitely fell victim to it.

      As Christians, all we can do is continue to preach the true gospel and nurture those who are willing to listen. There really are many situations where, short of sharing the gospel, encouraging others to abide in Christ, and caring for the broken and the poor, there is little else we can do. I agree with what I think you’re saying about leading others to Christ by the way one lives one’s life, but I don’t think the two things I asked you about above are anything that lie at the root of the problem of corrupted desire or interest.

      On another note, how do you go about preventing certain churches from preaching false doctrine ? The only thing I can think of, again, is preaching the true gospel in response and encouraging all who profess Christ to read the Bible for themselves to see if it aligns with what their leaders are preaching. Ultimately, I think those who truly want Christ will believe the true gospel, and not the false ones.

      I hope you don’t take my questions as being asked in a sneering, condescending tone, but I just don’t see the evidence of some of the things you mention being part of the problem.

  3. Invite you to see my own relevant essay, “Sex, marriage and exchange of value.” I identify and explain five major trends that have put us in our status quo (which, as you know, is Latin for, “The mess we’re in”).

    1. Women’s employment – this goes back many decades

    2. Cheap, effective and universally-available birth control

    3. No fault divorce

    4. Increasing rates of cohabitation

    5. The rise of the woman professional and the impossible-standard fantasy

  4. Sleepingbeauty says:

    I think prostitution and free hook ups are not only about sex. I think it is about people who are unable and handicap to build and keep healthy relationships, and instead of working and learn how to build and have it, they go the easy way. On the side of men, the thirst they have to be respected and recognized as leaders is one of the reasons they go for it. They buy someone and get to be respected for a moment.
    On the other hand, a woman longs for a relationship, but they don’t know and haven’t learned how to respect a man the way it should be in a healthy relationships… That make women starts acting as prostitute whose pay would be a relationship instead of money.

    • I’m not sure if getting sex is real respect, though. It’s the illusion of respect. Sex is fun for the woman too, so it’s not like she is doing anything that is self-sacrificial. And I’m not sure if women really want relationships. They want to have boyfriends who don’t make any demands on them and who don’t hold them accountable to any plan for marriage and parenting. Is that a relationship? I don’t think it is a relationship, if the man is not allowed to speak out or lead the woman.

  5. Wintery Knight, I agree with much of what you’ve written here, but I find this passage odd:

    I get a lot of joy from seeing a woman learn about my plan and my goals. I enjoy providing her with books, debates and lectures to learn about the things that I care about. I enjoy protecting her from lies and labor by building up her knowledge and character and performing acts of service for her. I enjoy leading her – through study and persuasion – to grow in her understanding of moral, theological and apologetic issues. And I enjoy when a woman makes an effort to be a supportive helper and a companion. Nothing is better than seeing a woman accept your goals as her own, preparing to achieve those goals and then achieving them. I would rather be a leader – that’s what men really want.

    Do you see husband-wife relationship as similar to a teacher-student relationship? Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but I get the sense that you view a wife as, ideally, intellectually subservient to a husband.

    I agree that it can be pleasing for a wife to accept the goals of her husband, but it is equally important for a husband to accept the goals of his wife.

    • Not at all.

      Think of Michele Bachmann, the conservative candidate for the GOP nomination to the Presidency, and her husband, Marcus. He asked her to go and do her J.D. in tax law because that was the direction that he wanted to take the family, and then she went and did it. So who knows more about tax law? She does. But who is doing the leading? He is.

      Your view is egalitarian and mine is complementarian. I think that husbands and wives (and men and women who are courting) have different roles. No roles are better or worse, but they are distinct roles. I think my view fits with the Bible better.

      I know a lady who is quite high up in her work – a director who manages about 50 people. She works in an interesting area in which she sees the effects of social policies on individual lives. I picked out a book for her to read on policy related to her area of expertise, because I saw that this book was getting a lot of attention. She put it on her wishlist and she’ll get it for her Christmas gift. I will know less than she does, but I am leading her because I think that it will help her to have an influence.

  6. [...] How do prostitutes stay in business in an era of hook-up sex? – Good points by the Wintery Knight. [...]

  7. @John “Do you see husband-wife relationship as similar to a teacher-student relationship? Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but I get the sense that you view a wife as, ideally, intellectually subservient to a husband.”

    Husbands and wives are meant to love each other with mutual respect and devotion.

    Women have to be subordinate — by nature, as soon as there are children, a women requires support from a husband or she will receive it from the public or government.
    Otherwise, she will be in difficulty.
    One person can not raise a child alone without assistance.
    The woman should be married to a man and subordinate to him. That is how is has been done for centuries.
    The patriarchal system is meant to protect women and children.
    For a woman to have a child and not be married is a embarrassment and has been for centuries despite what is portrayed in the western society which is morally depraved.

    The man should take care of that woman and the children — independently — so that they do not become a burden.

    The husband wants a faithful and subordinate wife so he can do what he is suppose to do. Two people cannot drive a car at the same time – it is impossible.

    To suggest that a woman’s mentality and a man’s mentality is the same is incorrect. Women are very much driven by their emotions and men reasoning / logic.

    If a women will not remain faithful and subordinate to the man – she wil divorce her husband in a no-fault divorce for frivolous reasons (ie sending her husband away). Consider the high divorce rate initiated by women.

    Now the woman without realizing it – has become a venal strumphet. Quite often, her and the children and becomes a burden to the government, family, and destroys the father of her children ( brilliant destruction strategy that is time tested and well proven – remember the Garden of Eden?)

    You might want to re-read the scriptures, specifically, 1 Peter 3:1-7.

    Shalom

  8. bridget says:

    So what of us women who are chaste, unmarried, and do not think they will find husbands? Hum…?

    My dating history is different from the pattern you describe: I gave men my attention, affection, and heart, but not my body. They did NOT appreciate it, and treated what I did give them as meaningless because they weren’t getting sex. (That hurt, a LOT.) I was thirty before I started dating nice men who appreciate my love and are willing to wait for the physical part.

    I’m not sure where those “marriage-minded men” were in my twenties – perhaps the ones who explicitly do not want an educated wife (as opposed to those who want to strike a balance between his education, her education, and their marriage)?

    • I think it’s really bad that men are not preferring women like you but are allowing themselves to be distracted by women who have lower self-esteem and are just trying to get attention instead of trying to get a lasting committed relationship.

    • Will S. says:

      bridget, one might well ask, why did you not find those same men you found in your thirties, in your twenties? They were around, somewhere, after all; did you never encounter any of them at all, anywhere? Were you simply not paying them any attention, because they other kind of men that you instead were dating were much more charismatic? In other words, were they just off your radar? Or did you physically relocate to a different place in your thirties, and find actual different men around, who were more marriage-minded than the ones you met in the place you were living in during your twenties? Obviously, there are differences between urban / suburban and rural environments. And of course, another factor can be, what kind of churches or other environments you met the young men you dated in your twenties, versus those you met in your thirties…

      I obviously don’t know your particular circumstances, and I’m accordingly not prejudging you by any means, but in my own experience, some of us marriage-minded young men have found ourselves passed by, by the young women in our churches, because we weren’t the most ‘exciting'; not ‘bad boy’ enough even, by those who ostensibly wanted ‘good men’, but who in their actions (whom they said ‘yes’ to when asked out, versus whom they said ‘no’ to), demonstrated they didnt really, not at that time in their lives, anyway…

      Even today, in my church circles, I observe ‘good girls’ going for ‘bad boys’, and passing by marriage-minded men, not even noticing them; they’re off their radar…

      • bridget says:

        “Were you simply not paying them any attention, because they other kind of men that you instead were dating were much more charismatic? ”

        NO. Next question?

        (Incidentally, the nice, marriage-minded men I’ve been dating in my thirties did not date in their twenties. Deliberately. At all. Had I met them “back then,” they wouldn’t have dated me – because they were focused on school, building a nest egg, saving for a house, etc.)

        • Will S. says:

          You know, I addressed you politely, in good faith, and yet you responded with a hostile tone; I said I wasn’t prejudging you, but asking, because I have found things in my own experiences different than you have, and I wondered what the reasons might be.

          However, since you don’t believe I’m acting in good faith, and answer me in a prickly manner, with your hackles up, hair-trigger ready to take offense, I see nothing to be gained by further discourse with you, and this conversation is therefore over.

    • @ bridget – I am sorry to say but what you said doesn’t quite “fit”.
      Every single women I have known to be serious, chaste & marriage minded has a very strict criteria.
      Due to the time constraints of women in their 20’s & 30’s – they don’t waste time with sub-par men and they are quickly dismissed. Given what you said – you got emotionally attached before qualifying them – so whose is at fault ?
      A attractive chaste woman is greatly desired and she will get far more offers for marriage than a non-chaste woman of equal attractiveness.
      Btw, a educated wife is nice it is not necessary. Quite often it gets in the way ( ie feminized) and causes discourse unless the values and culture are remarkably similar and held in high regard. If knowledge / education overrules kindness and common sense then it makes a attractive person very unattractive and difficult to live with ( compare 1 Cor 8:1 vs. 1 Peter 3:4-6)
      Btw, I enjoy a educated women and have only courted such ( Phd/Master & Masters/magna cum laude) but it has been more of a hinderance than a benefit.

      • bridget says:

        “A attractive chaste woman is greatly desired and she will get far more offers for marriage than a non-chaste woman of equal attractiveness.”

        Not for twenty-year-old men in Massachusetts at a super-liberal college. No one up here gets married before thirty.

        • I blame Massachusetts for this mess.

          • bridget says:

            I do, too. Well, that and the age of the men present. I’ve always appealed more to older men than to younger men – the younger men have no use for me, the older ones think I’m a great catch, to the point of saying, in public, to their younger friends, “That is the woman that you want. If I were ten years younger, I wouldn’t let her get away.”

    • Hey Bridget. I do respect you very much and I know that you are very conservative and that conservative men should be attracted to you. I think I know why you are struggling with men.. it’s because of where you are in the country. It’s a very blue area and it’s hard to find people there who are still interested in traditional things. I have a friend New York City and he tells me horror stories about what that city is like. You can’t even find people who want to get married – everyone is just focused on having a good time all the time. Even if people do marry, there is rarely any planning and decisiveness. It’s depressing.

      • bridget says:

        “You can’t even find people who want to get married – everyone is just focused on having a good time all the time. ”

        But according to your friends, it’s because I’m a slut or I was one of those jerk girls who likes bad boys.

        /sarcasm

        Will your male blog-readers throw the same criticisms to your male friend in NYC, or is it just women who are being thrown under the bus? No offence, but one of the things about Protestantism that rubs me the wrong way is the opinion that if you’re Single, it’s your own fault and you’re doing something wrong – not because the right man hasn’t come along, not because the right man isn’t ready for you, not because God wants you to be Single right now, not because life sometimes isn’t fair and you’re there to show how sin/wrongdoing/life hurts decent people. It’s OBVIOUSLY because she’s a slut who likes bad boys. To hell with that.

        (I would also wonder how your male responders think that their commentary would be taken by a chaste teenage or twenty-something lady whose own experience is directly at odds with their claims.)

        • Bridget , Strictly out of curiosity, why have chosen to remain chaste and what was your upbringing ? In addition, what are your dating guide lines ? Are they in writing ?

          My opinion on chaste women is quite different.
          Promiscuous women dont get marriage offers – they are simply seen by men to satisfy a glandular urge.
          However, I personally know a couple of chaste women 10+ years (Turkish and Modern Islamic) and they got multiple marriage offers left and right from American men.
          They were attractive, educated, feminine, hardworking, and fantastic upbringing and morals ( I have yet to meet any American women to date offer such a “complete package”).
          The way they conducted themselves during dating/courting was exemplary.

    • Joe says:

      Bridget – You wrote, “I was thirty before I started dating nice men who appreciate my love and are willing to wait for the physical part. I’m not sure where those “marriage-minded men” were in my twenties – ” I find your statement rather puzzling and raises several questions.

      1) When you were thirty, how old were these nice men that you dated? I doubt they were younger because generally men date younger women or women very close to their own age.

      2) If these nice men were say about 30 year old – were they always nice men even at a younger age or did they just become nice men when they hit 30?

      3) Is it possible that they were not nice men when they were younger, but sowed their wild oates and now became “nice” men? Of course, its possible that they were always nice men, but just not interested in marriage when they were younger.

      4) Did these nice men tell you that they were chaste or are you assuming they are chaste? How would you know whether they were chaste or not?

  9. xavier says:

    IMO there will always be a market for prostitution, even if we do live in a one night stand culture.

    There will be men who find it difficult to get sex for free- men who are disabled, socially inept or unattractive or even disfigured.

    There are also men who could get sex for free if they wanted but may want to avoid the complications and difficulties that may come with one night stands or relationships. Sex workers are generally very discrete and won’t go around telling everyone who they slept with.

  10. MrMe says:

    Because in the era of hookup sex, women choose partners based on looks and organ size, nothing else matters. naturally those of us who have the misfortune of not being perfect, either have to get prostitutes or kill ourselves, the choice is an easy one.

  11. Cha cha says:

    I completely disagree that men are forced to go to prostitutes or promiscuous women. They indulge because they drawn away by their own lust, plain and simple, feminism or not. And the women also. Some are looking for love, and some just want the sex. It was that way even before feminism but people weren’t as open about it. I do think though that the society now is more accepting of open sexual immorality and it is more prevalent. I think that has some to do with feminism but I wouldn’t say that is the whole cause. Underneath it all is sin plain and simple. The romans were notoriously sexually immoral, and women had little to no rights. Basically, lust is lust, feminism or not.

    When you are chaste and Christian (I am both and have been for a very long time) the pool of eligible people is quite small if you are looking for the same. There are quite a few women who are christian and who are waiting for marriage. Not as many as women who are not, but they are there. The reality is that usually there is some other requirement that a man wants that causes him to not consider who is available. Maybe he wants her to be very thin or to look a certain way. Im not saying this is wrong, im just saying that these qualities often cloud vision. This goes for women too. How many women wring their hands at the dearth of christian chaste men, but wont consider the short guy or the nice guy who is stable but with whom they have no butterflies?

    Keep in mind also that people change. Many people live in a worldly way, and then have a true conversion experience. The party girl or guy today could genuinely change but still struggle in that area because the gates have been opened. Whether you choose to court or marry someone with that background is up to you, but not every person who has this struggle is some sort of pagan hedonist. For me, I focus on people as they are now and I pay attention to what is going on in a man’s life now and in the recent past. I want him to be chaste and Christian now, but if he wasn’t before, this is ok. People grow and people change.

    • Joe says:

      @Cha cha

      “I do think though that the society now is more accepting of open sexual immorality and it is more prevalent.”

      Your statement may not be true. I was reading in a local newspaper about the history of a city located on the Hudson River (new York State) that was known for its brothels. It was acccepted because of the money it brought into the area. The brothels were closed by the state police in the 1950’s.

      I think the Christian church shares blame by perpetuating the lie that there is a special person just for you to marry. The bible makes no such quid-pro-quo promise – I’ll remain chaste because eventually I’ll marry that nice guy. The church promises false hope when it should be telling the truth. Basically, they should be saying that marriage is not promised to anyone and some of you will not get married, but remain sexually frustrated the rest of your life.

  12. John says:

    Good question. Hookers appeal to the minority of guys who are hopeless ugly but still capable enough to earn a good living. I’m short, bald, and ‘small’. Women don’t want me. But I’m also smart and capable, so I earn money and buy ‘affection’. It isn’t an ideal situation, but its much better than going through life bored and celibate.

    • I’m going to have to disagree with your statement that paying for sex is “much better than going through life bored and celibate.” If your purpose in life is to have as much fun as possible, regardless of the consequences to others or to yourself in the life to come, then I can see why you think that way. But that isn’t the purpose of life. It is much better, in the long run and the short term, to follow God’s design for your life – including His design for your sexuality.

      BTW, I have seen lots of downright ugly guys who are happily married. No doubt it makes things a little harder, but it’s certainly no excuse for “buying affection.” Prostitution is far worse than simply not being “an ideal situation.” Using a woman in that way is not only degrading to her and to yourself, but is a slap in the face of God. And you’re destroying your ability to even have a good relationship with a woman too.

  13. Datguy says:

    Prostitutes will always have business because there’ll always be men like me who just can’t get girls to like them.
    (no, I’m not a creepy guy like the memes, though I’m an STEM major, I’m somewhat good looking), kind of fit -full “6 pack”, though-, very smart, but I just don’t know how to talk to women. I’ve tried different approaches, different girls, different environments, but I just can’t make it happen, 22 years old and I’ve ALWAYS beem rejected. Thankfully for men like me, there will always be women willing to sleep with us (even listen to us at times) for money. Some even genuinely ask me why I’m always with prostitutes if I’m “good looking” (I know my way around hoes, so I know when they’re faking. They’re not all just crackheads)

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