Wintery Knight

…integrating Christian faith and knowledge in the public square

How to tell if a woman is ready for the challenges of marriage

A friend of mine sent me this Christian woman’s profile from OKCupid. I think it provides a window into what Christian women think that men and marriage are all about. Count the number of times she says “fit”, “fun” and “cute”. She likes football and Harry Potter books and movies.

Speaking for myself, I would not recommend that a Christian man marry this woman. If you consider all the challenges that married couples will face (see below), then this is not the person you would choose as your ally for life. Note, though, that “blame men” pastors like Mark Driscoll and Kevin DeYoung would tell you that this woman is a desirable catch. She meets all the requirements to be a wife and mother, because she reads the Bible, attends church and has a degree and a job. But is that all that Christian men are looking for in a woman?

I made a list of questions below to address the real concerns that Christian men have about marriage. Does “PackersGirl007″ addresses those male concerns?

QUESTIONS

1. Cosmology

What scientific evidence would you point to to show that God created the universe OR that God fine-tuned the universe, or parts of the universe, for intelligent life?

SAMPLE ANSWER: The big bang theory, the fine-tuning argument, galactic habitability, stellar habitability, or terrestrial habitability.

BONUS POINTS: referencing hard evidence like light element abundances, cosmic microwave background radiation, or specific instances of fine-tuning.

WHY IT MATTERS: She can’t be a Christian unless she knows God exists, and that can’t just be based on feelings and community. An awareness of the scientific evidence shows a seriousness about spiritual things – that her belief is rooted in objective reality, not in subjective feelings, culture, community, etc. It’s not “her truth”, it’s “the truth”. If she doesn’t know why she believes, then she can’t be relied upon to make decisions as a Christian, especially in stressful situations. There is always going to be a conflict between doing what one feels like and doing what is consistent with reality. Having scientific facts helps a person to do what they ought to do.

2. Intelligent Design

Explain the concept of intelligent design and explain how it applies to the i) origin of life OR ii) to the fossil record.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Explain the concept of specified complexity and Dembski’s explanatory filter, then explain how it applies to (i) amino acid sequencing or the double helix, OR (ii) to the sudden origin of animal phyla in the Cambrian explosion.

BONUS POINTS: Ideally, for the origin of life question, she’s going to mention things like UV radiation, chirality, cross-reactions and peptide bonds, then calculate the approximate probabilities for generating a protein by chance. For the Cambrian explosion, she should graph out the introduction of phyla over time, and explain the Ediacaran fauna and why they are not precursors to the Cambrian fauna. Bonus points for bashing theistic evolution, or talking about the early earth environment and the problems with forming amino acids.

WHY IT MATTERS: Darwinian evolution is bad science because it is really just philosophy (naturalism) masquerading as science. You can’t marry anyone who pre-supposes a materialist view of metaphysics like naturalists do, and then allows that philosophical assumption to overrule the scientific evidence. You don’t want to be paired up with someone who lets their prejudices overturn data.

3. The problems of evil and suffering

Assuming that Christianity is true, why do you think that God would allow suffering and evil in the world? Distinguish between human evil and natural evil in your answer. Also explain what role you think God’s permission of evil and suffering has in maturing Christians.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Define the deductive and inductive problems of evil, explains several different responses to them, such as free will, character formation, natural law, the ripple effect, etc. Mention the burden of proof for claims that certain evils are gratuitous, i.e. – noseeums.

BONUS POINTS: explaining how evil relates to Christian theology and God’s purposes for humans being knowledge of him and not just happiness, talking about Jesus’ own suffering and the meaning and purpose of it. More bonus points for pointing out how atheists cannot even complain about evil without assuming objective morality, which requires a moral lawgiver.

WHY IT MATTERS: Lots of nasty things can happen in a marriage. Children can get sick or die, jobs can be lost, and so on. It helps when you are dealing with a person who expects it and will not jettison their responsibilities and belief in Christ in order to pursue happiness unencumbered. The main thing is that the woman thinks that the purpose of life is to know God, and that suffering and evil play a role in gaining knowledge of God. You definitely do not want to marry someone who thinks that the purpose of life is happiness, and that God is some big bearded grandfather in the sky who just wants to hand out goodies to people and make sure they are having a good time regardless of what they choose to do.

4. The moral argument

What is the is-ought fallacy? What is the difference between moral objectivism and moral relativism? Give one reason why moral relativism is false. Give one reason why an atheist cannot rationally ground prescriptive morality. Explain why objective morality relates to God’s existence.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Explain the is-ought fallacy. Explain objective and subjective morality. Discuss the reformer’s dilemma and how it refutes relativism. Explain that atheism requires materialism, and materialism denies free will – so moral choices are impossible. Outline the moral argument.

BONUS POINTS: Give more than one reason where only one was asked for, refute attempts to assert objective morality on atheism, explain how moral obligations are related to God’s design for humans.

WHY IT MATTERS: You can’t marry a person who thinks that the moral law is not a brake on their desire to be happy. There are going to be times in the marriage when self-sacrifice is required by the moral law – either for you, for God, or for the children. It will not be easy to be moral then, so you are looking for someone who thinks that morality is real, and not subject to their feelings and whims. It might be worth asking the person when she has had to do the right thing when it was against her self-interest, like those valedictorians who name Jesus in their speeches and then get censored.

5. The resurrection of Jesus

Assume you are talking to a non-Christian. Explain how you would make a case for the bodily resurrection of Jesus on historical grounds. This person does not accept the Bible as inspired and/or inerrant.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Explain the criteria for establishing minimal facts / historical bedrock, list a set of minimal facts, explain why they pass the criteria, propose at least two naturalistic alternatives to the resurrection, and disprove them. MUST mention 1 Corinthians 15:3-7 in order to pass.

BONUS POINTS: listing atheist scholars who support each minimal fact, discussing N.T. Wright’s work on the Jewish concept of resurrection, referencing Richard Bauckham’s work on the gospels as eyewitness testimony, mentioning the pre-suppositions (naturalism, relativism) of liberal scholars like Crossan and Borg.

WHY IT MATTERS: The resurrection is the cornerstone of Christian belief. A person cannot encounter skeptics and not be able to defend the resurrection on historical grounds to them. The resurrection matters to how people act: they act completely differently depending on whether they believe that this life is all there is, or that this life is just a precursor to eternal life with God. You want someone who takes the long-term perspective.

6. World religions

Name two major world religions and argue against them using either the laws of logic, scientific evidence or historical evidence. Explain the concept of middle knowledge, and why it is relevant to the problem of religious pluralism.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Refute Theravada Buddhism with the big bang, or refute Islam with the crucifixion of Jesus, etc. MUST mention specific beliefs of that religion that are testable, and not just argue that they reject Christianity and are therefore false. Explain how middle knowledge reconciles free will and divine sovereignty, and that it also helps to solve the problem of people who have never heard the gospel.

BONUS POINTS: Using evidence that is universally accepted by people outside of that religion. Using scientific evidence. Referencing Acts 17:27 or other Bible passages when explaining middle knowledge. Mentioning objections to middle knowledge, such as the grounding objection.

WHY IT MATTERS: Many younger Christians today believe that Christianity is moralistic therapeutic deism. They think that the purpose of religion is to have good feelings and to be nice to other people and to make other people feel good. It’s all about feelings. You need to make sure that she knows how to make people feel bad and is comfortable doing it, with evidence. Middle knowledge also grounds the person’s willingness to see people as being responsible for their acceptance or rejection of Christ. Instead of taking a hands-off fatalistic approach to salvation, someone who accepts middle knowledge is going to take persuasion seriously and expend effort to try to change the people around them.

7. Abortion

How would you establish that the unborn are fully human and deserve protection? Explain three pro-abortion arguments and then show why they are false. Name three incremental pro-life policies that you would introduce if you were a legislator.

SAMPLE ANSWER: Use the SLED test and the law of biogenesis. Talk about the DNA signature of the unborn being distinct from the mother. Explain and refute the back-alley abortions argument, the it’s the woman’s body argument, the Judith Jarvis Thompson violinist argument, etc. Legislation would be parental notification, banning funding for abortion providers, mandatory sonograms, etc.

BONUS POINTS: Refute more pro-abortion arguments, reference specific legislation that is in-flight or was recently signed into law. Experiences protesting abortion or debating abortion with pro-abortionists. Experience counseling a post-abortive or crisis pregnancy woman. Mentioning biological details of foetus development.

WHY IT MATTERS: Basically, because people who think that sex is for recreation, and that it is ok to kill children to avoid any limits on the pursuit of happiness are not qualified for marriage. You can’t enter into an intimate commitment with someone who is willing to commit murder in order to get out of the consequences of their own selfish pursuit of pleasure. That is not going to work in a marriage – you need someone who makes good decisions, avoids harming others, is chaste and self-controlled, and takes responsibility for her actions when they go awry.

8. Marriage

Explain the public purposes of marriage, and then outline three threats to marriage and explain what legislation you would propose to neutralize these threats. What choices should people make before marriage to make sure they will have a stable, loving marriage?

SAMPLE ANSWER: Some public purposes of marriage are i) to force moral constraints on sexual activity, ii) to produce the next generation of humans, iii) to provide children with a stable, loving environment in which to grow up. Three threats to marriage are i) cohabitation, ii) no-fault divorce – which leads to fatherlessness, and iii) same-sex marriage. There are others, too. For legislation, there are things like tax incentives, shared parenting laws, school choice to de-monopolize politicized public schools, etc. Pre-marriage behaviors are things like chastity, experience with children, having lots of savings, being physically fit, etc. Having a degree in experimental science, math or economics is excellent for a woman. Avoid artsy degrees, especially English.

BONUS POINTS: Name more threats to marriage, explain the effects of fatherlessness on children, explain how divorce courts work, explain how socialism impacts the family through taxation and wealth redistribution, explain what happens to women and children after a divorce.

WHY IT MATTERS: It’s important for people who want to get married that they understand that marriage takes time and effort, and it requires both spouses to prepare for marriage, to be diligent at choosing a good spouse, and to understand what spouses and children need in order to stay engaged.

9. Children

Explain a person you admire and then tell me what you would do as a mother in order to produce that person from one of your children. What are some people and laws that you would change to make your job easier?

SAMPLE ANSWER: Jay Richards. Jay Richards is one of the most well-rounded Christian scholars operating today. He has knowledge of multiple areas, including economics and science. To make a Jay Richards, you need to be very careful about his education – which could mean homeschooling and saving money for later university tuition, as well as exposing him to apologetics and debates at an earlier age. He would need to have the dedicated attention of his mother for the first two years of his life, at least. Some laws that would help would be lower taxes, school choice, and academic freedom laws.

BONUS POINTS: Explaining how different things like day care, public schools, divorce, etc. harm children. Explaining how mother and fathers contribute to the child’s moral, cognitive, spiritual, etc. development at different times. Explain how the child is harmed if both parents are not present and engaged to play these roles.

WHY IT MATTERS: Marriage is an enormous sacrifice for a man. Not only is there the risk of divorce, but wives and children are very expensive. A man can serve God fine as a bachelor. He has to have compelling reasons why getting married would serve God more than staying single. Producing influential children seems to be one of the major reasons for a man to get married, and he needs to see evidence that his wife is on board with that.

10. Husbands

Explain the roles of a man in a marriage, and tell me some of the things you would do in order to help your man to achieve those roles. What groups would oppose your husband from fulfilling those roles, and what have you done in your life to prepare yourself to help your husband in his roles? What are some of the most important things that a man needs from a woman, and what specific things should a wife do to provide them?

SAMPLE ANSWER: Men are supposed to be protectors, providers and moral/spiritual leaders. In order to help men to be protectors, women have to give them time to study to discern truth from lie, and support their ability to be physically strong, and to own firearms. It is also a good idea for women to have a positive view of good men who use force to restrain evil, as with the American military. Women should support the use of force against radical Islam and terrorists, as well. In order to help men to be providers, women have to advocate for fiscal conservatism in the public square. That would mean advocating for lower taxes, less government spending and smaller government. It would also mean being frugal in the home and helping the man to move ahead at work. If the children are up and out of the house, it could mean going back to work or starting a business to help make ends meet – or monitoring investments. For a man to be a moral and spiritual leader, a woman has to be supporting of him making moral judgments in the home, disciplining the children, holding her accountable for moral errors, and for making exclusive truth claims when it comes to spiritual things. She should not censor him when he gets into debates about spiritual things, even if other people who disagree feel bad – so long as he is not being a jerk. Her goal is not to be popular or liked, but to support her husband in his roles. The most important thing a man needs is respect, and that means treating him as important and significant, being grateful for his contributions, soliciting his opinion on things, being mindful of his male nature, which is more visual and sexual.

BONUS POINTS: Having read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, “Men and Marriage”, “Love and Economics” and “Taken Into Custody”. More bonus points for having written about what she learned about men and marriage from books like that. The goal here is for her to have a real awareness and sympathy for what men are facing as husbands and fathers, and to have an idea of what women can do to support them in their roles.

WHY IT MATTERS: As a man, you have certain needs – the biggest need is for respect. If you are thinking of marrying a woman who cannot define respect, and doesn’t know how to give you respect, then you are going to be in for a world of hurt. The more she views marriage as a joint project with specific goals and external challenges, the more understanding and support you will get. No one wants to fly a plane with someone who doesn’t know how to fly a plane, fix a plane or navigate a plane. The more she knows about men and marriage, the better it will go for you – and the children.

Parting thoughts

This list is not exhaustive, it’s just to give you an idea of the kinds of things you should be looking for. A lot of it is the attitude. You are looking for a woman who does not shift blame onto you, who takes responsibility when she is wrong, who argues using logic and evidence, who loses arguments gracefully, and wins arguments gracefully, and who loves you and cares for you even if you are fighting. If the woman is resentful and doesn’t want to learn anything to deepen her faith, then drop her and find someone who will learn – it will be much better for you to partner with someone lovable and helpful, instead of a selfish lazy feminist.

If I were making a list for women, I would emphasize different things more centered around the specific roles that men play in the marriage – asking for his resume, work history, savings, investments, past relationships with women, parenting ability, self-defense ability, mentoring ability, and especially on moral issues and Christian truth claims.The most important thing that a woman needs is love, and the man should be ready to speak about love at length, and explain how he is going to provide her with love during the courtship and during the marriage. Women need to know that they are significant and desired by the man.

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24 Responses

  1. You left out one of the most important ways to tell if a woman is fit to be a wife: watch most carefully what she actually DOES, and give little credence to what she says.

    • I think that it won’t be possible for her to finesse her way through those questions. To answer them, she will have had to do the work to form her opinions through study. And then you should of course be able to see how she puts those bits of knowledge into practice in the way she decides and the way she acts.

  2. Jeff says:

    Sorry, this list is a little too specific or detaild, speaking as one who is deep into apologetics. It presumes they have a relevant knowledge base that some people don’t have the free time to indulge. A woman, or anyone really, can have the proper reasoning skills yet only know the barest of the presup apologetics talking points.

    Instead I’d recommend Christian men look for things like fruits of the spirit to see if a Christian woman is ready for marriage.

    • Well there are specific problems raised in the post that I think would be faced by the married couple. For example, how do you know that God exists and how do you account for the existence of evil and how do plan to raise effective, influential Christian children. I am not sure how Spirit-fruits address those problems, because they are intellectual problems that require study in order to solve. And you can’t expect good actions unless the person has formed true beliefs through study.

  3. sunshinemary says:

    It’s weird how she writes about herself as being such an innocent Christian girl, but look at her with that huge hunk of metal stuck through her lip. Not buying her story.

  4. Damoksta says:

    TBH, I think both you and I suffer from, according to John Mark Reynolds (BIOLA philosophy professor), what makes engineers unique great and flawed: we tend to make good apologists who rationalise things and forget about the human and emotional side of things. The criteria you’re looking for is great on paper, but the reality is that there just aren’t many Lydia Mcgrew and Mary Jo Sharp out there. Even Steese Koukl needs to summon her husband when 2 Mormons come knocking on their front door.

    For me, I have similar but much scaled-down requirements: she merely has to know why apologetics is important and understands and supports why I make decisions to (A) grow apologetics discipleship locally and (B) why I may chose to invest financial and personal effort into doing apologetics. Your other half is not meant to be your mirror image of you; she’s designed to be your helper. At a bare minimum she would still need to know the moral argument and the Minimum Facts argument, but outside of that we all need to look for a good companion who can cheerlead and sustain our race.

    Obviously a woman who loves fitness and traveling isn’t going to support you dropping $40K doing a MA in Christian Apologetics at BIOLA; but it isn’t necessary for a woman to need to explain why the resonance of carbon is an evidence of fine-tuning to know why she may need to “carry” you either should the two of you get hitched.

    • I am with you on the degree thing. One of my plans for marriage is “his and hers” (or just hers) MA degrees in Christian Apologetics from Biola. Basically, I have a 4-pronged plan. 1) Raise influential and effective Christian children, 2) impact the public square and government to promote family-friendly laws and policies like school choice, traditional marriage, law-abiding firearm ownership, etc., 3) impact the university by inviting students and faculty over and sponsoring debates and conferences and lectures and 4) impact the church by teachign a small group and/or inviting apologists and other good speakers for lectures, debates or conferences.

      I think that my main thing is that I think that work is drudgery that men do to make money, and we need to believe that someone is at home who shares our values and is working on the areas we care most about: children, the university, the church, the laws and policies under which we must operate. I have a lady I like who started an apologetics book club in her church, gives public speeches to groups on marriage, does pro-life counseling, and is busily reading apologetics and economics books and working on all her friends’ worldviews. She was just fussing to me today about the status of own of those evangelical engagements. Also, she read this post and she said that these questions were easy!!! I asked her to comment to that effect.

  5. Sarah says:

    As a woman who loves the Lord and is pursuing apologetics full time, I’m a little… well… hurt, that you’d take one woman from OKcupid as your window into Christian women. Granted, I’m sure there are many Christian women who are like that. But I know many godly Christian women who enjoy being fit and don’t understand the fine-tuning argument. I think your list of questions is great. But I’d also like to humbly suggest that a woman, or man, could answer every question well and still not be a good match. Knowing good apologetics, theology, and doctrine does not necessarily mean one is living a life of godly humility with an ever increasing desire to know Christ.
    Also, Damotska, I don’t see how a woman who loves fitness and traveling automatically means she won’t support her husband spending money to get an MA in Apologetics. Why must these things be mutually exclusive?
    And as a side note into a woman’s soul…. as I said before, I think all of the questions above are good ones that at one point or another are good to discuss. Yet please keep in mind that the approach of this post does not make a woman feel loved and secure (which you rightly emphasized women desire). If you sit her down and quiz her, you’ll make her feel like added baggage to your already planned life rather than a significant and wanted partner in the journey of serving Christ.

    • I take your point. I think what I would say is that I don’t read this list of questions out on the first date and then laugh evilly when they can’t answer. What I normally do is ask them where they are struggling with a skeptical friend or family member, and then offer to work through a book with them or buy them a book. Then I get to see if they are interested in learning. Instead of just reading out the questions from the list sequentially like a robot might, I usually talk about some relationship that I am in and explain why I am studying and what I am studying to work on that relationship. Or maybe I might praise someone I admire like Bill Craig or Ann Gauger or Thomas Sowell and say how much I admire his/her work, and hope that she will ask about it so I can tell her why it’s important. Or maybe I will just spill out my heart to her about how I am mentoring this student or that co-worker and let her see what I am doing with various resources.

      Basically, I don’t mind if a woman doesn’t know the answers. The main thing is whether she is willing to listen to why I think it is important that she know, and whether she is willing to learn.

  6. seatstaken says:

    This is pretty unrealistic.

  7. Frank Keefe says:

    This surely is a jest!! As a Christian I would hope the only thing I would ask my possible future wife is what Paul asked the Phillipian jailer that’s if she isn’t a Christian and if she is a Christian then I would ask her if she believes in the fundamental truths eg salvation by grace through faith etc. of course then there,s that strange thing called ” love” shame that emotion gets in the way uh!

    • Well, it depends on what you are trying to accomplish with your marriage. If you aim at nothing, you will surely hit it. And if you think that asking someone if they believe something is a good way to determine if they believe it, then I think that you are a gullible person who has not experienced much of life.

  8. kpolo says:

    Your biggest mistake is in assuming that knowing the cosmological argument for the existence of God (which just happens to have use today given the secular Big Bang theory) is the way you know God exists. That is totally as unbiblical a statement as you can make. Jesus’s statements completely contradict such a view.

    You know that God exists through the inner testimony of his Holy Spirit who convicts the world (i.e. believers) of sin and makes the meta-noia (repent) and turn to Christ for salvation.

    Your article and your goal (that you will raise Christian kids who will influence society) reflect that you are a single man. Every married person can immediately make that out. You are single and (take this the right way) clueless.

    You have no way to ensure your children will grow up to be influential Christians let alone Christians. If you can guarantee that your kids will be Christians, then you do great violence to the doctrine of grace and salvation. There exists no such guarantee my brother!

    And what if God’s plan for your child is to become a missionary and in his/her lifetime see 5 people come to faith in a remote part of east Asia?

    • Just FYI, we know God exists from nature, it’s called natural theology. See Romans 1:18-20, Hebrews 11:3, Psalm 19:1, etc. We know that Christianity is true because of the inner witness of the Holy Spirit. See the difference? Also, if you are going to mention that Jesus denies that cosmology is evidence for God, you have to provide the citation, you can’t just state it and then not provide the citation. Otherwise, you are just arguing from your feelings and intuitions, and that’s where liberalism comes from.

      Regarding the personal attack, I have nothing to say. I expect personal attacks from women who fail to measure up to these tests for authentic Christianity. That’s what these tests are designed to detect. Singleness is actually more favorable than unequal yoking. See 1 Corinthians 7 and the statements about the goodness of being single. The tests are useful to find out who I should not marry, in order to avoid being unequally yoked. Anyone who opposes the tests would put me in that situation of being unequally yoked, see 2 Cor 6:14.

      Let me know if you need help figuring how to look up Bible verses I cited.

  9. General Leonaidus says:

    I like the boldness to apply your analysis towards a realistic situation. However your emphasis is on their worldview, which of course is important, however one must note that one could answer all of those questions in a satisfactory manner, yet still be a terrible wife; a curse-meet instead of a help-meet. I would agree that metal mouth appears to be a typical cultural professing Christian, which arguably make worse wives than the heathen(although this is forbidden, but my point remains).

    • See here is the reasoning. She would have to have studied or be willing to study in order to answer the questions. And my hope is that studying will change her decision-making and priorities. If she has studied about the how early premarital sex damages relationship stability and duration, and how church attendance helps marital stability, then it will affect how she carries out the courting. See, she will know HOW TO DO THINGS RIGHT. And that knowledge is going to overrule her feelings and cause her to have better goals, better plans and to be more self-controlled and disciplined about how to achieve those goals.

      Similarly, I don’t believe that a person can act like a Christian when they are not sure that God exists based on evidence from real mainstream science and history. My view can be summarized with the phrase “knowledge binds the will”. The most dangerous thing that I fear about women is their tendency to think that they are the client of the relationship, and not God, and that the relationship exists to make them happy, and not to serve God. Studying the questions in my list weakens that emotional selfishness. The goal of guiding their study is to help them to see what decisions must be made in order to reach the goals.

      You can see the default position of many young unmarried women by reading kpolo’s comment. Their view is that life is random and unpredictable, that there is nothing to study, nothing to know, and no need to care about discipline and obligations. They will choose “chemistry” and happy feelings every time, and then claim that their failure was “God’s mysterious will” and that it was not their fault that they failed. That’s why we have a divorce rate of 45% for first marriages, with 70% initiated by women, as well as a 42% illegitimacy rate. They want to let emotions and intuitions decide, then claim that they are not responsible for the consequences. That’s guiding them through study helps to fix.

      And I think the more you can emphasize scientific evidence, the better it is. Scientific evidence for God – the origin of the universe, the fine-tuning, the origin of life, the Cambrian explosion, stellar habitability, galactic habitability, etc. – are like Kryptonite to Superman for the subset of women that you don’t want to marry. Economics can also be used as a strong repellent. They don’t like anything that imposes constraints on their desire for happiness, so that’s what you need to lead them into. Science, history, economics, etc. That’s the good stuff.

  10. Daniel says:

    Love this post
    But, there is always a but.
    In my opinion, To simply ask a woman her views on abortion will tell a telling story. If she says yes but what about rape?i would think oh here we go, she is buying into the whole world view thing. Because thats what they say.But if she comes out with disgust and rants and raves about a corupt world and gullible christians, i would think, cool i like this women.
    Just like my wife.

    • Your comment is awesome, and there is no but. The passionate pro-life reaction is exactly what you are looking for in a wife. To be pro-life is to be unselfish, responsible and child-centered. It is to care about helpless creatures more than the happiness of selfish adults.

      • Daniel says:

        True words are being spoken, to have a view which is anything other than unselfish responsible and child centered, is a compromise.I dont like being compromised and im sure the child doesnt either.

  11. Margo says:

    “PackersGirl007″ states she is interested in new friends and long term dating. She never states that she is interested in marriage. May be I’m expecting too much, but If she were interested in marriage, she would be candid about what she wants in a marriage and would discuss her responsibilities in a marriage, such as submission to her husband’s leadership and her role as a helpmate. The profile is simply that of a young Christian women who is looking for single male companionship without expectation of having sex.

  12. Thanks for turning me completely off to the idea of finding a wife. I doubt there are a lot of seminary graduates who could wax this profound on all ten points. Perhaps it would be OK to just find a woman who can accept the roles of men and women as laid out in the Bible and not expect her to know all the scientific blabbedy boo. Sure, it’s nice if someone is that knowledgeable. But even I, a seminary graduate, didn’t have all these scientific points nailed down at the tender age of 26. How can I expect a young woman to have all this knowledge?

    The truth of the Gospel is centrally necessary. If one possesses a deep faith in this as a certainty, it is enough to start with. A desire to learn the rest should be enough to start with. The only women I know who are so knowledgeable are well beyond child-bearing years.

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