Wintery Knight

…integrating Christian faith and knowledge in the public square

New study: delaying sexual activity produces improves relationship quality and stability

Dina sent me this article from the UK Daily Mail about a new study showing the importance of chastity for relationship quality and stability.

Excerpt:

New couples who jump into bed together on the first date do not last as long in relationships as those who wait a new study has revealed.

Using a sample of almost 11,000 unmarried people, Brigham Young University discovered a direct correlation between the length and strength of a partnership and the amount of time they took to have first have sex.

The study showed that those who waited to initiate sexual intimacy were found to have longer and more positive outcomes in their relationships while those who couldn’t help themselves reported that their dalliances struggled to last more than two years.

‘Results suggested that waiting to initiate sexual intimacy in unmarried relationships was generally associated with positive outcomes,’ said the report authored published by the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health.

‘This effect was strongly moderated by relationship length, with individuals who reported early sexual initiation reporting increasingly lower outcomes in relationships of longer than two years.’

The study examined four sexual-timing patterns: Having sex prior to dating, initiating sex on the first date or shortly after, having sex after a few weeks of dating, and sexual abstinence.

Each one of these fields yielded different results in relationship satisfaction, stability and communication in dating situations.

Should we be telling children moral rules, backed by evidence, so that they will have better lives? Or should we be telling them lies so that they won’t feel bad about behaving immorally? That’s the choice that every grown-up has to make. Are we going to tell the children something that will guide them away from harm? Or are adults going to tell them something that makes them feel better about their own mistakes?

When I see studies like this, it makes me glad that I am still a virgin, and I really recommend that to everyone, especially to men. It’s important to keep a clear head and to protect your ability to make bond to the right woman, should she come along. That’s what gives you the ability to make a tight bond, and helps you to trust women and to believe the best about the good one that you finally decide on. Too much early sex, and seeing women at their worst, and you lose your ability to trust the good ones.

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2 Responses

  1. I wonder if the data is actually wedge-shaped, instead of perfectly linear.

    I suspect that there is advantage to waiting…up to a point…and that long “dating” periods may exhibit less of a positive association with relationship durability. Maybe even inverse.

    Your recommendation for men to remain virgins before marriage is wise. There are a whole host of reasons why, ranging from spiritual to temporal. Ability to bond is one. Protecting yourself from a system set up to expropriate your wealth is another.

    This guy is learning the hard way that control of your seed is paramount.

  2. I think that sex is a game for those who cannot wait, and scoring the goal is paramount. With that kind of attitude, it’s impossible to have any regard or respect for the other person, and it becomes impossible to then switch to caring about the person over the sex. Feelings just get in the way of sex. Consequently, the sex act will never be equated with feelings of real love, and the relationship is doomed.

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