From the UK Daily Mail. (H/T Vox Day)
Excerpt:
It takes a woman just three minutes to make up her mind about whether she likes a man or not, a study has revealed.
The average female spends the time sizing up looks, physique and dress-sense as well as taking in scent, accent and eloquence of a potential suitor.
Women also quickly judge how he interacts with her friends and whether he is successful or ambitious.
It also emerged most women believe 180 seconds is long enough to gauge whether or not he is Mr Right, or Mr Wrong.
The study also found women rarely change their mind about a man after their initial reaction – and believe they are ‘always right’ in their assumptions and judgments.
The report which was commissioned among 3,000 adults to mark the release of Instinct, a new book by Ben Kay.
Kay said: ‘I think a lot of people believe in trusting their instincts when dating. It makes it seem more magical, like it’s coming from somewhere deeper.
I am not sure if this method of choosing mates should be used by Christian women. If the goal of a relationship is to please God and serve him, then our feelings should not be the guide. God is the customer of the relationship, not the woman, and not the man. The goal of a relationship is not primarily to have happy feelings – because that can lead to being selfish and destructive. It makes no sense to say that you are driving drunk in order to please God, or playing Russian roulette in order to please God – pleasing God needs to be done intelligently, with preparation, and respecting strict moral boundaries, if it is going to stand the chance of being effective at achieving his goals. It’s so easy to think that God is just interested in our happiness, but he isn’t. He is interested in us knowing him, serving him, suffering with him and understanding him.
Also, think of the harm that can be caused if women use emotions to choose men for the role of making them happy, instead of the role of making God happy. Men are designed by God to be protectors, providers and moral/spiritual leaders. According to this study, women are completely disinterested in whether a man can perform these traditional male roles. Because it is clear that nothing at all can be known about a man’s ability to perform these roles by looking at his appearance and style. Even if a man has a confident way of saying what a great provider he is, it doesn’t mean anything – he could be lying. The only way to know for sure is to see his investment portfolio. You can’t see the size of his portfolio by looking at his shoes.
Here are some ideas about what women should be doing to assess men for these roles:
- protector: does he understand which ideologies and policies oppose marriage, faith and family? is he good at defending his views against secular leftists?
- provider: what does his balance sheet look like? what does his resume look like? what does his university transcript look like? does he give to charity?
- moral leader: what has he written or spoken about related to moral issues like abortion, marriage, parental rights, etc.?
- spiritual leader: what has he written or spoken about related to theology and apologetics? does he have long-term mentoring relationships with other committed Christians?
None of these ways of judging a man can be accomplished in 180 seconds, and probably not even in 180 hours. It takes time.
Related posts on sex and feminism
- How more compassion and less moral judgments increases teen pregnancy
- What happens when the government pays people to have babies out-of-wedlock?
- New study finds that pre-marital sex reduces quality of relationships
- New survey finds women more sexually active than men in high school
- Research to help you understand the “hook-up” culture on campus
- Why do feminist academics think that feminism has empowered women?
- Who is really responsible for the abolition of marriage? Men or feminists?
- Who is to blame for the hook-up culture?
- How the feminist welfare state causes generations of fatherlessness
- Obama’s new proposals penalize married couples and stay-at-home parents
- How feminism’s war against men ends up hurting women
- Less than half of 7 to 21 year old women think marriage precedes child-bearing
- How socialism undermines the traditional family in Sweden
- How feminism is opposed to chivalry, marriage and fathers
- What causes women to become single mothers, and how are children affected?
- Which family configuration is best for raising children?
- Why did 77% of young unmarried women vote for Obama in 2009?
- New study shows that children of working mothers live unhealthier lives
- Canadian study suggests how parents can influence children’s sexual choices
- New Scientist article shows why fathers are necessary for children’s well-being
Related posts on courting
- Should Christian men marry Democrats who claim to be Christians?
- Men should prefer women who allow moral judging and spiritual leading
- How more compassion and less moral judgments increases teen pregnancy
- New OUP book links premarital sex and promiscuity to poor mental health
- Where have all the good men gone, and why aren’t men marrying?
- Do men have a responsibility not to marry feminists?
- Why do some women tolerate jerks as boyfriends?
- Why do women flock to movies like Switch and Eat, Pray, Love?
- Arlemagne’s post on the dangers of sentimentality in relationships
- Is Mark Driscoll afraid to hold a woman accountable for her own choices?
- 12-year-old girl (and her mother) sues father for grounding her… and wins!
- How feminism made women unsuitable for marriage and parenting
- Does being a virgin before marriage affect marital stability?
- How to communicate requirements to a Christian woman during courtship
- Why men should refuse a woman’s offer of casual sex
- How Christian women can make Christian men marry without using sex appeal
- John Piper’s questions to ask before you get married
- Does a man’s decision to marry negatively impact his service to God?
- The rules for friendship and courtship between Christians
- What Christian men want from Christian women… in paintings!
- Why Christian men should be chaste
- Should Christians marry non-Christians?
WINTERY KNIGHT 